Me; *having a rough day, because the world is A LOT*

Middy Spoon: MOMMY! MOMMY! COME HERE! VERY IMPORTANT!
*Chomps my arm and drags me to the dog futon*
Me: Middy, do I really need to sit down here?
Middy: YES OMG SUPER IMPORTANT!!!! SIT RIGHT HERE!!!! RIGHT HERE, OLD MOMMY!!!!
Me, mangled but curious: oookay? I'm sitting?
Middy: SNEAK ATTACK!!!!! *throws entire self on my head, knocking me over and profusely licking my face*
Me: blargle! *Struggling to breathe*
Middy: I LOVE YOU OLD MOMMY! *lick lick chomp lick*
Dogs. Somehow making the world better, despite humanity's worst efforts.

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