JustAnotherDogBlog

  Me: ... Schmoopie: *bursts into room* *INTENSE STARE* Me: What? Schmoopie: THERE'S A THING *INTENSE STARE* Me: S: COME SEE THE THING YOU MUST COME SEE THE THING Me: I need to come see something? *getting up* S: THE THING HURRY HURRY HURRY Me: *goes outside* Mephitidae: OLD MOMMY!!!! OLD MOMMY!!! OLD MOMMY!! LOOOOOOOOK!!!*jumps frantically at house walls S: LOOK! *stands against house staring at the roof* Me: Is the thing on the roof? *looks* *sees nothing* S: *tries a different side of the house* UP ON THE ROOF GO GET IT Me: Um. I can't see it. And I can't go up there. S: *checks the shed, just in case* M: *snorting up drainpipe* MOMMY GO UP THE DRAINPIPE!!! Me: That's....no? S: GET THE THING OLD MOMMY M: GET THE THING!!! GET THE THING!!! Me: OK, look, I can't. And also no. Schmoop & Middy: ... I think I just lost some god points.

  Me: *driving down alley* Random dog running loose: YAY IMMA FREE DOG!!! Me: *parks car, gets out* Middy! Get back in the yard! *puts Middy in the gate, rounds Schmoop into the house for lockdown, looks for Middy...* M (from outside fence, 5 seconds after I put her in): FREEEEEEEEEEE!!!! HEY LOOK STUFF!!!! Me: *follows Mephitidae, trying to get close enough for grabbing* Middy: HELLO NEIGHBORS HOUSE CAN I COME IN?? Middy: HELLO STREET! Middy: HELLO OTHER HOUSE I SNIFF YOUR BUSHES! Me (Voice of Absolute Doom): M.E.P.H.I.T.I.D.A.E. YOU POLITE SIT *NOW* Middy: *polite sit* Me: *picks up 60+ pound puppy to carry her two blocks home* *grunt* How are you SO HEAVY? Middy: IMMA TEENY! Me: *grunt grunt heave grunt old* Middy: *head snuggling as she's carried because adventures are exhausting and old mommies are safe* I LOVE YOU OLD MOMMY!