Me: *wearing makeup for my Zoom training because it turns out that without it, people can tell I'm dead*

Mephitidae: WHAT IS THIS ON YOUR FACE?!?
*LICK LICK LICK CHOMP LICK*
Me: Ow, hey, knock it off, don't eat my chin...
Mephitidae: IT'S ON YOUR EYES WHAT THE HELL INDECENCY IS THIS???
Me: OK, stop now, gross, no eye-li-
Mephitidae: HOW DARE YOU BE SEEN BY PEOPLE WITH THIS...THIS....FILTH! ON YOUR EYES!
*LICK LICK SLOBBER LICK FACE PIN*
Me: Knock it off, Meph-
Mephitidae: YOU ARE A FILTHY, FILTHY WHORE AND I WILL WASH THE INDECENCY FROM YOU!
Me: *drowning in slobber*
Mephitidae: FILTHY!! FILTHY!! FIIIILLLLLLLTTTTHHHHYYYYYYYY!!!!!

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